Jean x Dancer Reader
by SoraAkimi
Summary: You are Marco's sister and you are still grieving over the loss of your brother. But when your best friend Jean finds your old dancing shoes he convinces you to start dancing again. But how can you concentrate when Jean, the boy you love is constantly flirting with your friend Mikasa?
1. Chapter 1

Part 1

You looked at the small grave that you and Jean had made for your brother, Marco. You sat down and made yourself comfortable next to the grave.

"Hi, big brother" you said out loud not caring who heard her. "I miss you, but I'm doing fine, so is Jean. He broke a record yelling at Eren. I believe he got up to a half hour."

"It wasn't that long!" you turned around and saw Jean, he looked offended by the comment you made to your deceased brother out loud. You blushed and laughed.

"What's so funny?" Jean asked with a light blush forming on his face.

"Just thinking about all the times Marco and I had to break up the fights you and Eren had. Marco always knew when to step-in, just enough for you two to get your stress out, but just before you were about to kill each other." You said with a smile. You felt a bit sad, you weren't like your brother, you were sometimes too afraid to step-in to stop the fights that your friends got into. But luckily Mikasa was there and she knew when to stop her surrogate brother Eren from getting too hectic.

Jean sat next to you and let out a big sigh, "Well Marco, your sister here is something special, she saved a couple of homeless orphans from some Titans the other day." he stated to the grave.

Your face became very hot feeling. You then sat up straighter and said "I'm nothing compared to Jean, he slaid over 5 titans without taking a break!"

It was Jean's turn to blush. "Oh I almost forgot, I found some boots when I was looking through me and Marco's stuff, they where your size so I thought they were yours and got mixed up with his things."

You took the boots and said "Yes, they are mine, but I didn't pack these when we left our town. Marco must have accidentally pact them."

"There pretty nice looking shoes, I wonder why Marco would even think of bringing something like these to a place like this." Jean wondered.

"Back in our hometown, I use to practice dancing and performed at festivals, my town was big on that kinda thing," You stated with a blush. "I wore these when I would preform."

"You used to dance?" Jean asked kind of shocked. He now realized how small you were compared to all of his other friends , especially to your brother. He blushed at the thought that an even shorter version of you used to dance.

Looking back at your days in dresses dancing in front of others during festivals.

Jean started to blush at the thought of you in a dress. He then looked at the boots. "Why do you think Marco brought these?" he asked.

You thought about it for a second, then said "I remember Marco saying something about him being a bit upset that I was quitting to come train here."

Jean thought for a second and guessed "Maybe he thought if he brought them, you would continue to practice."

You started to look sad, her brother wanted you to continue and possibly do another performance in front of him, but in what seemed like a day ago, you and Jean found the body of your brother, half of it missing. Both Jean and you suffered from quite a shock and trauma at the sight, and now thinking, Marco probably didn't want you to come at all. He may have wanted you to stay in the safety of your town where the probability of a Titan attack was pretty low. He wanted you to continue to dance, to make your friends and family happy to see you dance with the big smile on your face she gets when you're dancing.

But you always knew that there were people dying for you and millions of others, you had to play your part. you were definitely athletic, and flexible which came in handy with using the 3D Maneuvering Gear. Your greatest strength was using your size and quietness to enter and leave without getting noticed. Your brother was aiming to become a member of the Military Police. When you told him you were planning to join the Survey Corps, he tried to talk you out of it. But you knew you had to do something. Your father was in the Survey Corps, he died outside the walls, you wanted to see what had made your father so curious to leave the safety of the walls, dying, and leaving your mother to look after you and your brother on her own. After you made your resolve, you gave up dancing.

"I kinda miss dancing a bit," You stated with a hint of guilt in your voice for not doing one more performance for your brother. "It would be nice to perform one more time."

Jean suddenly got an idea. "Well why not?" Jean asked, looking at you with excitement.

You just looked at Jean, _What is he talking about? This is the military, there's no place to perform let alone practice._ You thought to herself. "Jean, what are you talking about?" you asked.

"Why not perform one more time? At this point I think we should make sure we have no more regrets, we could get sent outside the walls at any moment now." he exclaimed, his face widening with excitement. He really wanted to see you perform at least once, to see that what Marco wanted you to keep up so badly came true. It was like granting one more request for his best friend. _I promised him I would keep his sister happy, that I would be there for her and push her to do things she knows she wants to do. She misses dancing a lot, I can feel it, I just have to push her a bit. _Jean thought to himself.

"There is a festival coming up for New Years, why not perform then? Jean asked.

"W-w-what?! I can't do that Jean!" You started to stammer, the idea of dancing in front of her fellow soldiers just made her really nervous.

"Why not?" Jean asked, "We both know you really want to. What's to be afraid of?"

You stared at him, _He's right, what is there to be afraid of? I've just gotten through a living Hell. This is nothing compared to that. _You realized, dancing in front of some soldiers is nothing compared to fighting Titans. At least you won't have to worry about getting eaten alive on stage.

"Okay Jean, I'll do it. For Marco!" You said after thinking it through.

"Great!" yelled Jean, he was getting pumped into helping his friend live her dream one more time. "I'll ask the superiors if it's okay if you can do it at the New Year's festival."

"Thank you, Jean" You said, starting to get excited for one more performance. "I'm going to need to start practicing again, it's been three years since I came here so it's been that long since I've gone without practicing." you exclaimed.

"The festival isn't for another three weeks, will that be enough time?"

You smirked at her taller friend, "You underestimate me Kirschstein, I'll have a dance planned out by then." you said.

"You sound confident, good luck. Here." Jean said while handing you the boots.

"Thanks."

"I'll see you later!" Jean called at your running figure away from the grave.

_Okay, I'll do a turn here, and then I'll let out a kick... NOW! _You were in the middle of choreographing your dance. Jean talked it over with the the superiors and gave the alright for you to perform. You talked it over with only a few friends, you wanted it to be a surprise for everyone else. Krista took you to town to find a dress for the occasion, while Sasha, (who was stuffing herself with steamed potatoes the whole time they discussed this) helped out with picking a song. You loved the song that they had picked out for your performance. You also made sure Jean would not see you practice, you didn't want to spoil the performance for him by letting him see all of the dance before the festival.

Your boots fit you the same way they did all those years ago.

You made a finishing pose for the last beat of the song. The choreographing was done, all that is left is to practice until the big day.

"Oi (name), what are you doing over there?" called a voice, when you turned around you realized the voice belong to Eren Jaeger, and his friend Armin Arlert was following behind him.

"H-Hi guys" you said.

When Eren and Armin walked over to you , Armin asked "What are those boots (name)? They're not the military issued ones and I've never seen you wear them when your out of uniform." Armin who was as observant as always pointed out.

"Well, my things and some of Marco's things got mixed up and Jean found them in the boys dorm when he was going through his and Marco's things." you exclaimed.

"They look like dancing boots, did you ever dance?" Armin asked.

"Actually I did, and Jean convinced me to perform at the New Years festival in two weeks."

"Well, that should be interesting." Eren said with a smile. "Using the 3DMG is kinda like dancing, right?"

"Kinda, but if it were, Mikasa would have me beat with the way she flies on that!" you said with a laugh.

"Oi, Jaeger! Why are you bothering (name)?" shouted Jean who was coming to see how you were doing.

"Hey horseface, I just came to say 'hi' for crying out loud" Eren exclaimed.

"Good grief you guys, you can never greet each other politely can you?" asked Armin.

"They've been this way ever since they met Armin, I doubt it's going to change any time soon." You chimed in with Armin watching the current fight Jean and Eren have gotten themselves into.

"Boy, you guys are like an old married couple who hate each other." pointed out Armin.

"NO WE'RE NOT! I'D NEVER EVEN THINK OF MARRYING THAT JERK!" they both yelled in unison.

Both Armin and you let out a laugh at the way they were arguing.

"This could go on for a while, I'm done practicing for the day." you exclaimed. Walking away to the mess hall with Armin. Leaving behind a shouting Jean and Eren. _Hopefully this time, I won't have to treat any injuries. _You thought to herself.

Later you were sitting next to your friends during dinner.

"So (name), how's practice going?" asked Sasha who was stuffing herself with steamed potatoes.

"It's going great, I appreciate all the help you guys are giving me." You smiled, looking around toward all of her friends. You were sitting with Sasha, Krista, Ymir, and Mikasa. You normally sat with all of them when you weren't sitting with Jean.

"I'm looking forward to your performance (name), I think you'll do great." said the young girl pulling her scarf down to bite down on some bread.

"Thanks Mikasa!"

"You'll do great (name), I think it will be amazing." said Krista.

"I have to admit it though, I'm a bit nervous, this is the first time I've performed in three years." you stated.

"Even I'll admit it, I think you'll do great." stated Ymir who was being pretty quiet up till now.

"Thanks Ymir. Well, I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight."

Goodnight (name)!" Everyone said.

Jean was outside when you walked out of the mess hall. He offered to walk you to the girls cabin and you accepted.

"So, how's it going?" he asked.

"I'm doing great, bit nervous though."

"Don't be, you'll be great, I only wish Marco could see you practicing so hard." Jean said looking a little solem.

"Yeah"

"(name)..." Jean paused, blushing a little.

"Yes Jean?"

"... I just wanted to say good night." he said softly.

"Um, okay, goodnight Jean."

And with that, Jean left, disappearing into the darkness of the forest.

_I can't shake the feeling that he wanted to say something important. _You thought to yourself.

"MARCO! DON'T GO! PLEASE!" you yelled at her brother as he went to fight the Titan.

"Don't worry (name), I'll be back soon."

"PLEASE DON'T!" tears were now streaming down your face. "please, don't go, you're going to die!" you whispered forgetting that he was now out of earshot.

"(name), why did you try to stop him, but not try and stop me?" came a dark feminine voice behind you.

You turned around to see your friend. Despite her face being somewhat hidden, you would recognize those dark pigtails anywhere. Her face covered in blood with a big hole on her side.

"M-M-Mina" you whispered.

"If you knew we were going to die, then why didn't you stop us?" Mina asked in a dark tone, "Maybe Thomas, Hannah, Franz, Marco, and I would not have died." she stated in a monotonous voice.

"I-I-I-I d-d-d-didn't know then M-M-Mina, I s-s-swear." you were now in hysterics. You wondered if they blamed you for doing nothing but watching and shaking like a wet puppy. If Jean had not come along, you would have died as well.

"(name), it hurts that you didn't help me." now Marco who was missing have of his body was behind Mina.

"Not you too Marco." you shakingly whispered.

"You were too much of a coward to help your own brother weren't you?" he was now staring back at you with a dark look in his eyes. "Did you not love your own brother enough to do one more dance in front of me?"

You then collapsed on your knees, your hands on the rooftop, tears appearing as wet spots on the shingles. "Please forgive me, brother. I didn't want this to happen." you said to him.

**RRRRAAAAAWWWWW!**

A loud yell came from became from behind you. You turned around and saw a Titan right over you. A huge smile beaming at you, drooling with hunger.

"P-P-Please, no." you whispered.

When you looked down at the feet of the 15-meter class Titan, you saw the dead bodies of all of your comrades.

Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Bertolt, Reiner, Annie, Sasha, Connie, Krista, Ymir, Petra, even Levi-Heicho was there. But Jean was nowhere to be seen.

The Titan reached over towards you. Your blades all broken, your 3DMG out of gas, so you did the only thing your instincts would allow you to do. You let out an ear-piercing screech.

"(name)" yelled Jean who was now running towards you.

"J-Jean, don't come close! This Titan killed everyone!" you warned him.

"I refuse to let you die too, (name)!" Jean yelled. Charging at the Titan.

But the Titan was one step ahead of him, in one swift motion the Titan grabbed Jean with it's oversized hand.

"**JEAN!**" You screeched.

Before either of you knew what was happening, the Titan clenched it's fist with Jean still inside of it.

Blood splattered all over the place and some landing on your face. You started to tremble, Jean was your best friend. Marco introduced you to each other back when he was still alive and now he was gone.

"J-J-Jean" you stated in shock.

"It seems you take death wherever you go (name)." stated Marco.

"It's because of you that so many of us died (name)." a new voice joined the ghosts.

You shakingly turned around and saw Jean's face, a dark look on his face but you could not see his eyes because his light hair covered them up, leaving a shadow over his face.

"I think we should take care of that, so no one else else gets hurt because of you, (name)" Marco stated. "Right Jean?"

"You're right, Marco. Leave it to your best friends to take care of this, (name)." Jean said. You now got a better look at his face. It was dark and he wore a crazed expression.

He drew his blade from his gear. You could see her reflection in it. Your (eye color) eyes widened in fear, your (hair color) hair red from the blood..

"With you gone, not as many people will die." Jean stated. "If we did this sooner, we probably wouldn't have died."

The blade swung down.

"**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**" an ear piercing scream was heard all throughout the Scouting Legion girl's cabin.

"(name)! (name)! It's okay wake up!" shouted Sasha with Krista wiping sweat off of your forehead.

Mikasa walked over and shook you as hard as she could to wake you up. Your eyes shot opened and sat up with a bolt. Gasping for air.

"Are you alright (name)?" asked Mikasa with a look of concern on her face.

"Y-Y-Yeah," you whispered, your whole body trembling.

This was a common thing for the cadets of the 104th division. Ever since the battle for Trost, their first encounter with the Titans, someone would yell in their sleep from nightmares at least every other night.

"I'm sorry to wake you all up." you apologized with a smile.

"It's okay, it's not your fault." Mikasa said.

"Are you sure you're alright (name), you were like that for a while." Krista stated, her face still having a look of deep worry.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thank you, guys."

"You're welcome (name), do you wanna talk about it?" Sasha asked.

"N-No, I woke you all up already, I don't wanna keep you up." you said.

"We don't mind you know." Sasha said trying to re-assure her best friend.

"I'm alright, really." you said. You couldn't say that you thought their deceased friends blamed you for their deaths. Could you?

"Well, if you're alright..." Mikasa said taking one more concerned glance at you before heading to her bed.

About an hour later everyone was back to sleep, except for you. You stared at the ceiling, too afraid to go back to sleep. You knew this happened to everyone, not just you. Even the boys went through it as well, even though they wouldn't admit it to the girls. _I wonder if Jean has dreams like these too? _you wondered.

You couldn't shake the feeling that your friends hated you and blamed you for their deaths. But you knew there was nothing you could do. You were even was about to try and help a couple of times, but your friends held you back. All you could do now was limp on and try to keep the remainder of your friends alive.

You couldn't get any sleep for the rest of the night. The wake up bell finally wrung.

You got up and got dressed in your uniform. You got a look at your dance boots, you let out a small smile and headed down to the mess hall for breakfast.

"(name)," called Jean.

"What's wrong, Jean?"

"Mikasa told Armin, and Armin told me that you had a pretty bad dream last night, you were screaming for several minutes. Is that true?"

You knew Mikasa told because she thought you would feel better talking to someone like Jean, but you felt betrayed that your friend would let others know of this.

"I'm fine, Jean. Really." you reassured him.

"If there's anything I can do, just let me know, okay?" he said with a small, kind smile.

You smiled back "Okay, thank you."

You had breakfast with Sasha. Krista and Ymir were eating at another table, Annie was with Bertolt and Reiner, and Mikasa was eating with Eren and Armin. After Sasha sat next to you, Connie decided to come over.

"Hey guys!" he said looking a bit too happy for a day that was filled with training drills. "Hey (name)! Is it true you're performing at the New Year's festival?"

_How did he find out? I thought I asked everyone to try and stay quite, who would tell him? _You heard Sasha start to giggle and you looked at your friend. Of course it was Sasha, sometimes she couldn't keep her mouth shut.

"Sorry for telling him (name), he was bothering me about hanging out with the day you, me and Krista went out shopping and I had to tell him why I couldn't hang out with him then." she exclaimed.

"It's alright Sasha, just don't tell anyone else, I want it to be a surprise for everyone." you said with a smile.

Sasha looked relieved, you were starting to look better than you did that morning.

"You're sure you're alright for training today?" Sasha asked

"Yeah, I'll be fine." You replied.

It turned out that training was canceled for the day because Levi thought that the place needed to be cleaned up for the New Year's Party. _Leave it to Colonel Clean-Up. _You thought to yourself.

You took a look at the chore list:

_Kitchen Duty:_

_1. (name) Bott_

_2. Reiner Braun_

_3. Jean Kirshtein_

_Great! I can talk to Jean about last night. I know there was something he wanted to talk_

_about last night. _You thought to yourself. _I wonder if I can get him alone from Reiner to talk for a bit._

"Hey (name)!" called Reiner as you approached Jean and the tall blond man.

"Hi Reiner." you said.

"So the three of us working in the kitchen huh? I guess that's better than the potato thief." remarked Jean.

"Haha, I guess so." said you. "How should we divide up the work?" You asked her partners.

"Well since I have the most strenght I'll handle carrying food crates." said Reiner.

"I guess that'll work" sighed Jean, looking a little depressed all of the sudden.

"What's the matter Kirshtein? Sad that you can't show off your strength in front of (name)?" asked Riener in a loud voice.

Both you and Jean turned red at the thought. "As if Braun! Are you sure you're not the one showing off because Krista is with Ymir right over there." Jean pointed out to defend himself.

"No way! I didn't even know Krista was over there anyway" yelled Reiner.

You couldn't help but laugh at you friends silliness. "Okay boys, why not we just start getting to work? All the other groups have already started, at this rate we won't be done until dinner." you said.

As Reiner left to go grab the supplies that needed to be carried to the kitchen, you started to clean dishes while Jean was sweeping the floor.

"Soooo Jean, how are you doing?" you asked to start a conversation.

"I'm good." stated Jean.

"Is there anything you wanted to talk about, Jean? You seem a bit more stressed than usual."

"Well, I've been wanting to ask you something for a while, but it's kinda embarrassing." said Jean with a small blush forming on his face.

"You know you can ask me anything Jean, we're best friends." you stated, you turned the water in the sink off to hear your friend.

"Well, it's sorta about asking someone out for the New Year's Festival, I want her to go with me as a date. But I think she's too busy to care about me right now."

You looked at Jean. A warm feeling emerging from your chest.

"I've known her for a while, and I think me and her have gotten really close just recently, I know she's been through a lot in the past too."

_C-could he be talking about me? I mean, I've been a bit busy with dancing lately to talk if that is what he meant. But would he really want to take me with him as a date? We have been spending a lot more time together since Marco died, but have I left that kind of impression on him? Does he think I like him? Does he like me? Do I like him? Maybe I do, but I always thought this is how friends felt towards each other. Do I actually like Jean? I've always felt a bit funny near him, and I felt this weird feeling in my stomach when I first met him. Yes. I think I am in love with Jean. _

"I'm sure whoever you ask Jean, she will say yes." you said, feeling a bit of a blush growing on your face.

"You think so (name)? That's great, because what I wanted to ask you the other night is..."

_Yes Jean, I do want to go to the festival with you._

"Is if you would..."

_Go on. Say it Jean. Yes. A million times yes._

"Ask Mikasa if she would go with me." said Jean.

_Crack. _

That was the sound of your heart breaking at your crush's request.

You had never felt so humiliated. All this time Jean still liked Mikasa. You could now recall the time you saw Jean complement Mikasa on her amazing jet black hair, and how she felt so, so, so jealous. _He never stopped liking her, it would be like finding a needle in a hay stack for finding a way for Jean to like someone like me. Not when someone as amazing, talented, and gorgeous like Mikasa exists._

"You wanted to ask Mikasa out Jean?" you asked, trying to keep the quivering out of your voice.

"Yeah, I really like her (name), I mean what's not to like about her? She's just so gorgeous, kind, smart..." Jean just kept going on, not realizing that each word broke a piece off of his best friend's heart.

_I am so terrible. What kind of friend am I? I've loved Jean for a really long time, why am I just noticing this now? When he wants to be with another girl. I'm nothing but a heartless witch to think this way. Jean is the closest person to me, and Mikasa is one of my best friends, if Jean likes her, then I should just leave it be!_

"Jean, why are you telling me this?" you asked abruptly.

"W-what are you talking about (name)?" asked Jean who was startled by your sudden interruption.

"I mean why are you telling me how great Mikasa is when you should tell her yourself. You like her right? Go tell her yourself and then ask her out!" you yelled. Even though you loved Jean with all your heart, if he liked Mikasa, what kind of friend would you be to get in the way.

"Y-you really think so, (name)?" Jean asked feeling excited.

"Yes I do, Jean." you said with confidence.

_Maybe Mikasa likes Jean back. If that happened I would be happy for them._

"A-Alright, I'll ask her out tonight!" declared Jean.

"You can do it! I know you can!" you said as you cheered Jean on.

_And if she accepts, there is nothing I will do about it._

After chores where done, you decided to sit away from both Jean and Mikasa to give Jean room to prepare himself. You sat with Connie, Reiner, Krista, and Ymir instead.

"(name), is something wrong?" asked Krista. "You've looked a bit down since you came back from doing chores with Jean and Reiner."

"Yeah, when I came back, you and Jean looked different, you looked really sad but he looked really happy. What was that about?" asked Reiner.

"Nothing, Jean's just getting really excited for the festival. And the reason I looked so upset was because I burnt my hand with the water I was washing the dishes with." you stated.

"You've been looking pretty upset though (name), are you sure everything is alright?" asked Connie.

"Yeah, I'm fine guys, I swear." you lied.

You looked over to Mikasa, who was currently eating with Sasha, Eren, and Armin. _I hope Eren doesn't get in Jean's way, the last thing he needs is a fight to stress him out even more. _You thought to yourself.

Then you looked over at Jean, he was sitting in one of the corner tables at the other end of the dinner hall, he looked so nervous. _Come on Jean, you can do it._ You silently cheered your friend on, despite the jealousy bubbling up inside of you.

After a while, Jean finally stood up, you could tell he was starting to sweat. He started to walk slowly toward the table Mikasa sat at. You started to sweat as well as you eyed the scene before her.

"H-hi Mikasa." said Jean.

"Hello Jean." replied Mikasa.

"I-I was wondering if you were planning to go to the festival..." started Jean.

_Thank goodness Eren left with Armin a couple of minutes ago. _(name) thought to herself.

"Yes, I was planning on it." said Mikasa looking up at the nervous boy.

"W-well, I was wondering if you would like..." Jean started to drift off. Seeing the look Jean gave to Mikasa made you realize that you would never be worthy of the same look from him. The look that says: _I love you more than anyone in this room. _The look that promised: _I would even get eaten by a Titan for you._ The look that reminded the receiver: _I think you are the most beautiful girl in this awful world. _You realizing how much it suddenly hurt you to see Mikasa receiving that wonderful look without knowing how lucky she was made you pick up your things and leave.

"W-wait (name), where are you going?" asked Krista who was startled by your sudden movement.

"I-I'm just a bit tired is all, I think I'm going to take an early shower then head to bed." you said, hiding your face so none of your friends could see your now streaming tears.

"O-okay (name), goodnight" said Connie.

"Goodnight (name)!" called Krista.

"Goodnight" said Ymir and Reiner.

You left the room as fast as you could, you did not want to wait and see Mikasa's answer

to Jean's question. You walked by yourself down the woods, you weren't sure if you wanted to be awake when Mikasa came down talking with everyone about Jean's question.

Jean noticed your sudden absence, he was a bit upset about it. He could have used a bit of moral support, but he went on with his mission anyway.

He continued talking from where he left off, "I was wondering if you would like to come to the festival with me... you know... as a date."

Mikasa looked up at him and gave him her answer.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

You were already asleep when the other girls came back to the cabin so you didn't know if Mikasa accepted Jeans offer.

When all the girls woke up, you avoided Mikasa, but you could feel Mikasa's cold stare boring into you. _Just ignore it (name), act like I knew nothing about what was going to happen last night. _You told herself.

You got ready without looking once toward Mikasa's direction, but the feeling of Mikasa watching you did not go away once. After you were done, you headed down to the dinner hall for breakfast.

"Hey (name)!" called Jean who was saving a seat for you at a table, Lisa decided to wait to get in line so you could tell Jean you would sit with him.

When you got to the table you saw that Jean had already gotten your food.

"Sit down (name)! I have some great news to tell you." declared Jean gesturing toward the food he had gotten for you.

You sat down and picked up a piece of bread, "What's the big news, Jean?" you asked pretending that you had completely forgotten about Jean's mission to ask Mikasa out last night.

"I took your advice, (name), and she said yes! Mikasa Ackerman agreed to go out on a date with me." Jean stated with a fist pump to the air.

"That's great Jean, I'm really happy for you." a lie. You were honestly as jealous as one could get.

_What's wrong with me? I need to be the supportive best friend. Why can't I just be happy for them and forget about liking Jean. It's nothing but a small crush, I'm sure of it. Just forget about your crush and then you can be happy for your friends._

"I think you guys make a great couple." you stated, which wasn't a lie. You thought that Mikasa made a much better girlfriend than you ever would.

"You really think so?" asked Jean who was becoming red with embarrassment.

"I do" you confirmed. "But, why aren't you eating with her?"

"Just because I'm going on a date with doesn't mean I have to abandon my best friend, right?" asked Jean. Hearing this made you feel better. He doesn't like you any less than before.

"Well, we have the day off right? Why not spend the day together?" asked Jean.

"Really?" you asked.

"Of course, why not we go to town today?" Jean suggested.

"That sounds great." you replied.

"Alright, I have something to do, but lets meet up again here in an hour, okay?" Jean suggested.

"Works for me!" you said.

You forgot about the jealousy you were harboring and got excited for her day with Jean. Things were still the same, you were still his best friend and nothing will ever change that.

You read for a while until you thought you thought it was about time for you to go to the dinner hall to meet up with Jean.

When you got there, you saw him talking to somebody, when you got a closer look, you realized it was Mikasa.

"Hey, (name)..." started Jean, "do you think we could have a rain check on our plans?" asked Jean.

That surprised you, "What do you mean Jean?" you asked.

"Well, Mikasa and I were planning to head to lunch just now, is that okay?" he asked. Once again, completely oblivious to the sound of his friends breaking heart.

To make it worse, he continued while Mikasa went off to talk to Eren to give them some privacy. "I mean, you understand right? I want to spend some time with her before the festival, understand her a bit more..."

You listened silently as Jean went on about how he wanted to be alone with Mikasa. _He wants to know more about her? I thought he knew enough about her already. NO! Don't be like that, don't think bitterly about your friends happiness. Be happy for them, just smile and bear it._

"I even have a plan for that night." Jean continued, making sure Mikasa wasn't close enough to hear it. "I'll hang out with her almost through the night, and an hour before midnight, I'm going to show her that place where you can see the sky clearly without the walls getting in the way."

_Wait! An hour before midnight? That's when I'm supposed to perform. And the place you were talking about, that was discovered by you and me you, idiot! You're going to abandon your best friend right before her dance that she was working her butt off to practice because YOU suggested it, and take Mikasa to the place that was supposed to be special to only you and me? You heartless jerk! _

"Jean, are we going or what?" asked Mikasa. You looked reluctantly at her, Mikasa had a look on her face that you had never seen on her before. Was it pity? Did she hear everything that Jean said and came to separate them before Jean could hurt you even more?

"Yeah," said Jean. What he said next is what made you forget every nice thing about Jean you ever thought. "(name) has to work on her dance anyway. Right, (name)?"

_What? Your encouraging me to practice even though you're not going to even bother to show up? And to just ditch me to hang out with Mikasa? What is wrong with you? You call yourself a friend._

"Y-yeah, I do" was all you could say before running off so Jean and Mikasa would not see your tears. But it was too late, Mikasa had already seen the damage Jean had done to his best and possibly former friend.

You ran down the woods as fast as you could in your dress. Everything was falling apart in front of you. _Why even bother trying to get close to him anymore? He's just gonna push me away to talk to Mikasa. That selfish jerk! Did he ever even care about me at all? Or was I just a tool for him to get close to Mikasa. Did he just see me as some annoying girl who tagged along with whatever her brother did? What was I to him? Why did I have to realize my feelings for him now? The time when he wants me to just get lost? Lisa, you are such an idiot for falling in love with a jerk like him!_

You continued to run until you realized where you were, you were at your brothers grave. Seeing the burial stone of your brother just made you collapse. You lost your best friend in the world, still traumatized to the point of almost denying the fact that he was gone, and Jean goes and ditches you to go talk to some girl, like he doesn't even know how much his best friend is hurting.

You finally let everything come out, you got on her knees and just started to cry. You knew no one would hear you, they all made plans to spend their day off in town just like you and Jean did. Or so you thought.

"(name), are you alright?" came a voice. You turned around and realized the voice belonged to Armin, and Eren was running up behind him.

"W-w-what are hic you g-g-guys hic d-doing here? I-I thought you all went to town." you said, embarrassed that the two boys had seen you cry.

"We where going to go with Mikasa, but Jean came by and invited her to lunch. She was watching you guys talk and said that when they left we should check on you, she said you looked really hurt." exclaimed Eren.

"I'm fine guys; really I am" you tried to explain trying to let no more tears fall down your face. The last thing you wanted was to get your friends to worry about you.

"No you're not fine, (name)." stated Armin, "If you're hurt just tell us, we're here for you."

"I-it's just after all the work I put into learning this dance for Jean, he's just going to try leave with Mikasa and go to OUR special place right before my performance." you explained. Tired of hiding your feelings you decided to come clean with your two friends, just hoping they wouldn't tell. "I-I did all of this for Jean. And the fact that he decided to ask Mikasa to be his date just hurt me so much."

As you vented, Eren and Armin listened to every word that came out of your mouth. They were a bit shocked by Jean's behavior. Even for Jean, this was just plain cruel, abandoning his best friend like that for the sake of another girl.

"Forget about him, (name). You don't need a horse face like him. You have us, Sasha, Krista, Ymir, Reiner, and even Mikasa. She worries about you. She really does." Eren exclaimed.

Hearing this about Mikasa shocked you a bit. Mikasa was always a bit of a sister figure towards you.

"Mikasa accepted the invitation because she thought it would help Jean realize your feeling towards him." explained Armin.

_Did Mikasa know about my feeling for him this whole time?_

"But when she noticed the way Jean was treating you, she sent us to make sure you were okay" elaborated Eren.

"Really?" you asked a bit shocked by the news.

"Of course, (name). Mikasa knows that you like Jean, she would never try to take Jean away like that." reassured Eren.

"Jean just doesn't realize that the perfect girl for him has been next to him this whole time." continued Armin.

"Thank you, you guys, that really helps." you said.

"Hey, (name)!" called Jean.

"Hi, Jean." you said quietly, you were still a bit mad about how he treated you yesterday.

"So do you wanna be my partner for training today?" Jean asked.

_Oh so now he wants to hang out with me. _

"Are you sure you want me as your partner? Why not Mikasa?" you asked looking up at your taller friend.

"Mikasa is Eren's partner today, so what do you say?" asked Jean.

"Sure, why not." you sighed.

"Woh, what's your problem? Tough morning?" asked Jean, a bit shocked by your sudden change in behavior.

"No Jean, I'm perfectly fine, I don't need you to worry about me, okay?" you asked, running out of patience with Jean now just noticing how angry you were.

"Alright Miss. Not-A-Morning-Person." Jean said with his hands up in a defensive way.

"Just shut up and lets get started already." you said with another sigh.

"Okay, did something happen, because you seem not yourself today." Jean asked.

"Nothing Jean, just drop it, okay?" you were starting to yell.

"Okay, okay, let's just get started." said Jean with a skeptical look on his face.

"OW!" yelled Jean.

You had just flipped him onto his back.

"You're going overboard today. Tell me what's wrong!" Jean demanded as he was getting up.

"Nothing is wrong, Jean!" you yelled, you two were starting to attract attention.

_Thank goodness the instructors aren't here right now. _Jean thought to himself.

"Something is obviously wrong with you, (name). Why aren't you yourself today?" asked a growing angry Jean.

You were starting to get angry at how clueless Jean was being.

"Let's just continue training!" you yelled lunging for him.

He was about to block you, but you suddenly ducked and punched him in the gut. Right when he was bending down in pain, you slammed your elbow into his neck. Hard.

"Ow! What the heck is wrong with you, (name)?" Jean yelled. Coming up from his beatdown. "You want to play that way, huh?" asked Jean with an angry look on his face.

He then lunged for you, flipping you over and pushing you on your back really hard. But you were able to recover with just enough time to roll out of the way of Jean's punch. You then kicked him in the stomach.

"You know, Mikasa would not be as bratty as you right now!" yelled Jean.

_Now's he's COMPARING me to her?! That's it, I've had enough._

This was the last straw for you.

"'Mikasa this', 'Mikasa that', can you just shut up about your annoying crush for once?!" you screeched. "I don't care about what you think about her! I've had enough!"

"Woh! (name), where did that suddenly come from?" Jean asked taken aback by your sudden outburst.

"I've had it with you always talking about Mikasa! Why do you care about her so much when your bestfriend is hurting right in front of you!?" you now had tears streaming down your face. This was getting too much for you, Jean was hurting you too much right now.

"What do you mean? What did I do to you to make you so mad at me right now?" Jean demanded to know.

"You don't even know what you did?! You're the worst friend ever if you can't even realize that! You are so awful you...you..you HORSEFACE!" you screeched.

Everyone now came over to see what your normally timid self was screaming at your best friend for. And they were all pretty shocked at the insult you just gave him. You were the only one to never make a horse joke in front of Jean ever since Eren started the insult chain.

You now realizing what you had just called your friend made you feel a wave of guilt. You looked at him with remorseful, tear-filled eyes, and just ran away. You ran to you and Jean's special spot, hoping no one would follow you.

"(name), wait!" Jean called.

"Jean you idiot!" called Eren. Jean turned around to see a very angry Eren, Connie, Armin, Krista, and Sasha. He also noticed Mikasa left in the direction you ran.

"I don't need this now, Jaeger!" yelled Jean, he wanted to leave and be by himself, to figure out where everything went wrong.

"Did you ever notice about how (name) feels about you, Jean?" asked Connie who looked pretty angry, despite his normal attitude.

"What are you talking about?" yelled Jean.

"We're talking about (name), she likes you Jean! But you've been to much of a horseface idiot to notice!" yelled Eren.

"What did you just call me Jaeger?" yelled Jean.

"He's right, Jean." stated Armin "Did you notice that everything (name)'s done has been for your sake."

"She started dancing again because you wanted to see her dance." Sasha yelled.

"Did you even know what was scheduled to happen when you planned to hang out with Mikasa alone that night?" demanded Krista.

"Are you too stupid to see the hurt in her eyes whenever you put Mikasa in front of your own best friend? What would Marco think of you right now?" screamed Eren.

Jean completely forgot that you started dancing again because of him. He never noticed the torment you were going through when the only person you could ever love turned his back on you when you needed him most. Marco, your only family, gone, and here he is flirting instead of giving his best friend some well-needed comfort. What would Marco think of the way his best friend leaving his sister behind just like that? Jean needed to fix this up.

Before anybody could react, Jean ran off to where the girl who loved him ran off too, he knew where to find her.

_I hate myself! _you thought to yourself. _I called him horseface. Whenever Eren calls him that it hurts him and I knew that and I called him that anyway. What kind of a friend am I? I definitely don't deserve his love the way I just treated him._

You were sitting in you and Jean's special spot. The sun was now setting and the sun was hidden behind the walls, it was almost pitch black out right now.

You recalled the day you and Jean fist met. The day your feelings for him came forth but ignored.

Flash back

"(name)!" called a voice.

You looked over to see your brother Marco waving you over.

It was the first day of training. You were too shy to talk to anybody so the whole time you were there, you stayed next to your brother and only spoke to others when spoken too.

You walked over to the freckled saint and a small group of people who were next to him.

"Everyone," Marco said to the small group "this is my little sister, (name)."

"How much younger?" asked a blond boy you later found out his name was Thomas.

"Just a year" answered Marco for you. He knew you weren't one for talking to strangers. "(name), this is Thomas, Connie..." and he directed your gaze to the last boy standing with them "and this is Jean."

You knew Jean, how could you not? He was the arrogant guy who openly declared he was going to make into the top ten and join the MIlitary Police for an easy life. But still, not many people could be so honest, especially with the instructor looming right over your head.

"Nice to meet you, (name). I'm Jean Kirstein, from Trost." Jean held out his hand to you. When you got a better look at the boy, you realized how attractive he really was.

"Nice to meet you too, Jean." you replied quietly.

"Hey! Whaddayaknow? She actually talks." exclaimed Connie.

But later that night was when your love for him grew more. Dinner was loud and crowded. Some guys needed Marco's help with something so you isolated yourself in the corner of the dinner hall with a book and sat alone at the table.

You were alone until a couple of girls came up to your table, they looked pretty ticked.

"You must think you're hot stuff huh?" Asked the leader of the girls.

"What are talking about?" you asked, clearly confused by this sudden outburst.

"You really don't know, huh? The way you were flirting with all those guys earlier. You should be pretty grateful your brother can do the talking for you? How are you gonna answer to the instructors with such a small voice like that? You can't hide behind your brother like a coward forever. What happens if he joins the Military Police and you don't make the top ten? Your only other choices is the Scouting Legion or the Garrison." the leader preached.

"I wasn't flirting with those boys I was just talking, and I wasn't planning to join the Military Police, even if I get into the top ten. I was planning to join the Scouting Legion" you stated in your small voice.

"Are you serious?" one of the other girls asked in shock. "Do you have a death wish? Only brave morons join the Scouting Legion!"

"I'm curious. My father wanted to see beyond the walls so badly he died joining the Scouting Legion. I want to know what he saw before he died." you stated calmly.

"I guess stupidity runs in the family. You know, it's your type that ends up getting eaten first. How will you survive without your big brother to hide behind?" the leader started speaking again.

The leader got a glance at the book you were reading. It was a book about life outside the walls. About large forests, bodies of water that have salt in it, and tons of animals they have never seen inside the walls. It was very similar to the books that Armin carried around.

Just like Armin, you treasured these. It was all you had left of your father.

"So, you like to read, huh?" the leader stated.

She then snatched the book off of the table.

"Why not come with us." she stated.

"P-please give that back." you begged. You ran after them outside.

"We'll give it back, don't worry. But we have a favor," the leader began.

"What favor?" you asked cautiously.

"Drop out of the army." she simply stated.

"What?" you asked confused by this strange request.

"I can tell you will be a strong competitor for me with getting into the top ten, the less competition the easier it is to get in."

"I see, you're hoping for a nice and easy life within the inner walls aren't you?" you asked now starting to realize the intent behind this harassment.

"You act like its bad to want to stay safe. Who's to say the Titans won't invade this town next?" she asked.

"I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting an easy life, but I am not dropping out, or holding back. I'm staying and I will try to get my grades high. I want to repay all those people who died to keep us safe and help humanity against the war with the Titans." you stated.

"If you're not planning on dropping out..." the leader said.

**POW!**

She punched you right in the stomach. You started to hunch over when one of the other girls grabbed you by your hair.

"You know, if you get too injured to continue with training, you have to drop out whether you want too or not." she calmly stated.

You didn't want to fight back. You always thought that your enemy were Titans, you vowed to yourself that no matter what, you would not use your Titan training to fight another human. They were not the enemy to you, only the Titans.

But what choice did you have? You lifted your fists up, ready to just punch her hard enough so you could take your book back and run. But you felt a slash across your fingers. One of them had a small knife and the pain was too awful to keep them in fists anymore.

You made a small yell in pain, you couldn't fight them, your brother was no where to be seen, and you would have to drop out of the army if this kept up.

A quick kick to your leg made you cry out louder and fall to the ground.

You thought you were really going to be separated from your brother but then you heard a voice.

"What do you think you're doing?" You looked up and saw a very angry Jean walking over to them.

He walked over to the leader and snatched the book out of the girls hands and said in a very low, threatening voice "That girl you're hurting, happens to be one of my friends. Hurt her again and you will have me to answer to."

The girls ran off leaving you on the ground looking up to your savior.

"T-Thank you so much." she said.

"It was nothing, (name)." he exclaimed. He held out his hand for you to grab, "Why not we go inside, it's getting pretty cold outside."

"O-okay." You said quietly.

A little bit later during dinner you were still sitting with Jean. You saw Marco talking to Eren along with some other trainees. Eren was exclaiming about his plans for joining the Survey Corps until Jean decided to join in to the conversation.

"The Titans aren't all that tough... If we can master the Three-Dimensional Maneuver Gear, they won't stand a chance!" Eren saying to the crowd around him. "Finally, I'm able to train as a soldier... I was just so excited, I forgot myself for a second. I'm joining the Survey Corps, so I can wipe the Titans off the face of this earth. I'll kill them all-"

"Hey, are you nuts?" interrupted Jean. "Did you just say you want to join the Survey Corps?"

"Yeah, I did" responded Eren. "And you said you wanted to join the Military Police to take it easy, right?"

"I'm no liar... I'm a straight talker, unlike someone who pretends to have guts of steel, even when he's scared out of his mind." Jean explained.

_Would he say that if I told about my plans for joining the Survey Corps. _You thought to yourself.

Eren stood up from his seat with a scary look in his eye.

You could only just sit there and watch the argument forming in front of you.

"Are you talking about me?" Eren asked.

Jean stood up as well.

"Hey- I didn't..." Jean did not get to finish for the bell to clean up and go to bed started to ring.

"Well, I'm sorry." Jean apologized. "I didn't want to say you're doing the wrong thing."

He held out his hand to Eren. "Peace?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry too." Eren responded.

They had a small high- five.

As Eren was starting to leave an Asian girl followed him and walked right passed Jean. His eyes widened as he saw her amazing long black hair.

You felt a hint at jealousy when Jean started to blush and was trying to talk to her.

"Hey, you..." Jean started.

The girl, Mikasa was her name, turned around to look at Jean.

"W-w-well, uh..." Jean was starting to blush as he was trying to speak. "It's just that you look different than the rest of us. I'm s-sorry... You hair is very pretty."

Mikasa looked at him with a blank expression on her face and replied with a simple "thank you."

And simply walked away to go find Eren.

Jean followed her outside but by the time he got out there she was already talking to Eren.

"I'm fine, leave me alone." complained Eren.

"You're always so impulsive when you're riled up." responded Mikasa.

"This again? Anyway, isn't your hair a little long? It could cause an accident when you're practicing with the Maneuver Gear." Eren pointed out.

"Very well. I'll cut it." said Mikasa.

Jean saw the whole thing, he did not look very happy afterward.

As Connie was walking by, Jean rubbed his hand on Connie's shirt.

"H-hey!" yelled Connie. "That's my shirt! What did you wipe on my shirt?"

Jean had a distant look on his face and said "My faith in humanity."

Then walked off.

Forgetting that he left you sitting at the table alone.

A couple years went by. You got very close Jean. You became very open around others when Marco and/or Jean were around.

You also became very good friends with Sasha, Krista, Connie, Armin, Eren, and even Mikasa.

But you felt a hint of jealousy whenever you saw Jean flirting with Mikasa, but you let it slide.

When graduation came around, you got the class rankings, the part everyone was anticipating to hear.

You got 11.

So very close getting into the top ten yet so far. But you didn't mind it as much as the others, you were joining the Survey Corps no matter what. You still did not tell Jean and Marco about your plans.

You looked up on stage to see the top ten students. Mikasa got number one and Eren was number five.

Connie was number eight.

Sasha got number nine.

Krista got number ten.

Marco got number seven.

And Jean got number six.

This was it. You only had a short time with your friends before they all move into the inner wall to be with the king.

The only people you knew who weren't going into the inner wall was Armin, Eren, and Mikasa. They were planning to join the Survey Corps like you.

You were trying to figure out a way to tell Jean that you were planning to join the Survey Corps from the very beginning. But you didn't get around to it until that fateful day. The day that that changed everything for you and Jean. Why did it have to happen the day before Jean and Marco left to go into the inner walls? Just one more day and Marco would be alive and safe in Sinna.

"Hey Jean, are you excited about joining the Military Police?" you asked.

"Yeah, but it won't be as much fun with you not there. You were so close to the top ten. You could have come with me and Marco."

"I'm fine about not going into the walls, actually I-" you were cut off.

"Don't lie (name), only crazy people like Eren want to go outside! Don't you wanna stay safe? Stay with your friends?"

"Actually Jean, I had no intent on joining the Military Police, I was planning to join the-" you were cut off again.

"The what? The Survey Corps? Dang it (name), do you wanna get yourself eaten? The Titans are merciless and they use new trainees as Titan bait!" Jean yelled.

"You can't tell me what to do Jean! This was my goal the moment I saw my father's books about the outside world! I wanna see big forests, the oceans, animals! I don't wanna live as cattle inside the walls!" you yelled at him.

"Stupid Jaeger is rubbing off on you. That idiot will only lead you to your death (name)!"

"Eren had nothing to do with my decision, Jean! I'm joining the Survey Corps and that's final" you yelled back.

Just then, you both saw a flash of lightning and steam and what felt like an earthquake had you both on your knees.

You looked over to where the lightning was. And what you saw made you want to let out a loud scream.

Just above the tall walls, you looked into the face of the Colossal Titan. His angry face having no skin looked down into the wall, looking down at humanity as if you were all nothing but ants.

Then there was a nothing earthquake feeling. You stood up after the shaking and looked to where you saw the Colossal Titan. There was a large gaping hole in the wall, and the Titans were just waltzing in as if they were coming into a restaurant. To bad for humanity because that was what this place was for them. A buffet.

"Oh no." murmured Jean standing up.

_This is the end. _You thought to yourself.

After all that, it was all a pretty big blur. All you felt during that time in Trost after that was fear of being eaten, the only actual memory from that time was when you found him.

"MARCO" you shouted.

"(name)..." was all Jean could mutter when seeing the look of horror etched onto your face. Tears forming into your eyes.

"Marco, what happened?" you asked as if he was still whole.

You stared at his half body leaning against the wall. _How could this happen to you?_ You thought to yourself.

"(name), are you okay?" Jean asked quietly.

"This wasn't supposed to happen to you." you muttered.

Jean was confused by what you said. He was about to ask when you started to talk again.

"You were in the top ten. You had more skill than me. How is it that I survived but you didn't." you started to talk to the body of your dead brother. Jean could only listen to what you were muttering.

That is until he heard the next thing you said.

"It should have been me" you said.

"(name)!" Jean grabbed a handful of your shirt and lifted you up a bit. You never saw the look he was wearing before. A mix of sadness and anger was plastered on his face as he looked at you.

"Don't you ever say anything like that again, (name). Marco knew what he was doing from the very start. He was prepared to give his life to save you and me. You were there when he went to go fight that Titan. He saved both of us. Don't you dare think for a second that you should die, don't let his sacrifice be in vain." he snarled at you.

You looked in his eyes. He meant it. He wants you to live and continue so Marco didn't die for nothing.

Jean brought you into a big hug and whispered soft words of comfort to your trembling body.

"J-Jean, hic it hurts so much!" you cried into his chest.

"I know (name). But I promise it will all get better." he quietly whispered into your ear as he continued to comfort you.

Later when they were cremating all of the bodies of the victims you were with your friends minus Mikasa, Armin, and Eren. You sat on the ground, you put a bit of distance between you and everyone else.

You sat there. Making no sound at all but the tears were coming down like a waterfall.

The fact that you did not make a single sound reminded you of something Marco had said.

"_You know (name), when you want to, you can be completely silent and no one ever knows you're around when you're like that. But I like knowing you're near me. I like it when you aren't hidden and you're out in the open. So, I have to ask, could you promise me not do that when I'm around. I just wanna know you're near me and still safe." he said to you. You found it as an odd request but what could you say to your brother?_

"_Alright Marco, I promise I'll let you know I'll always be with you. I won't disappear into the room when I have you with me._

That's what you promised him. But what about now? Could you just simply disappear? Away from everyone? Even Jean?

_Marco can you hear me? I think... I finally understand what Eren felt when his mother died. I'm not that sad anymore, but I'm very angry. It's the Titan's fault you died! How come they can walk around and do such awful things while we have to pay. What kind of fate is that? Does destiny hate humanity that much? _

_I'm making a new promise Marco! I promise the Titan's pay for what they did to you! I am joining the Survey Corps. And I won't die! Not until humanity can come out of the walls. Just like dad wanted!_

You clenched your fists around your jacket, you no longer had tears coming down your face. A look of anger and determination was glowing from the fire. _They will all die. _You promised yourself.

You saw Jean stand up. He had a look of dread painted clearly on his face.

"Hey guys have you decided which branch you're joining? I have." he stated.

He started to cry, he brought his fist up near his face and was trembling, he grabbed his arm by the wrist with his free hand and closed his eyes.

"I-I'm joining the Survey Corps." he announced. He then started to tremble more and was crying.

You never saw Jean like this. The look in his eyes were the face of the man who had witnessed death a hundred times over.

Flashback end


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

That was when you realized you were in love with Jean. You admired his bravery, honesty, and leadership so much.

You pulled your knees to your chest and started to cry. Was this even the same man from back then? The boy who held you and vowed to avenge your brother.

It will all get better? How long is that gonna take. Everything was too much on your poor broken heart.

"(name)," you heard a voice. You turned around and saw Mikasa.

Did you hate her for this? No, it wasn't her fault.

"Are you okay, (name)?" she asked.

"No I'm not! Mikasa, Jean doesn't treat me like he used to anymore. He's like a completely different person now. It's like he's not even Jean anymore!"

Mikasa silently listened to your rant. Once you were done she walked over and sat beside you.

She said nothing, just looking at the clouds through the trees. She stayed silent for what felt like hours.

"Jean really does care about you." she suddenly said. "I don't know why he's been acting so out of character. But you didn't look at his face did you? When you told him how you felt."

"I couldn't look at him after I said all of those nasty things to him. He probably hates me right now. Everything I said was completely uncalled for." you cried. Hating yourself for yelling at your best friend.

"I don't think so, it seemed more like a wake up call for him. He didn't look angry, he looked awfully guilty. What you said made him realize what he was doing. You know, Eren tells me Jean talks about you non-stop. Whenever he's in the boy's cabin, he says only nice things about you. Jean really does care for you (name), don't forget that. You two are more closer than I could ever think of me being with Jean."

You listened to every word Mikasa said. Every sentence that came out of her lips. You felt like crying even more.

"But when it's me and Jean. He only talks about you Mikasa." you say quietly.

Mikasa looks like she can't say anything about that so she stays silent for a minute. Then she speaks up again.

"I was always really jealous of you, (name). Eren is always talking about you. Even more than Jean does. He told me..." Mikasa drifted off. Hesitant about whether to tell you the truth or not.

"He told me... that he really, really likes you (name). He stares at you during meals, and the reason why he's always fighting with Jean is because he's jealous of Jean. He hates that you two are so close. He loves you (name). But he thought falling in love in this world was pointless. A world where you could get eaten at any moment, why would you wanna risk falling love, when that love could be taken from you at any moment? He didn't want to deal with the pain of losing you, or imagining the pain you would go through if he was gone. When I saw Eren look at you that way, I became so angry. I was never able to make him look at me like that. I did whatever I could to keep him safe. And I'm nothing more than a close friend. He would never look at me the way he looks at you."

When Mikasa finished, you were shocked. She was going through the same thing as you. She understood your feelings and how upset you felt. But also... Eren loved you? The famous Titan Shifter was in love with you out of all people? It felt weird. You loved Jean but Jean loved Mikasa. Mikasa loved Eren, but Eren loved you. This is a cruel world. You and your friend were in the middle of a love square that nobody would know if it would end well. You weren't even sure if being in love in this world was safe anyway. Even having friends seemed to unsafe, you could lose each other at any moment.

"I-I'm sorry, Mikasa..." you didn't know what to say to her after absorbing all of this information.

"It's alright (name)." replied Mikasa.

Was that a smile on her face? Was she actually smiling?

"You know, boys can be real idiots to not notice girls feelings. You think after all we've been through, they would know what love looks like in a girls eye." she stated still smiling.

"Yeah, if only they put 'seeing emotions in other' as part of our training, huh?" you say with a real smile on your face.

A real smile.

You haven't felt like this since Marco left. It's as if a weight has been lifter off of you shoulders and you can breath again. It felt nice.

"Um, (name)? Can I talk to you?" you turned around and saw Jean standing behind you.

Mikasa stood up, "I'll leave you two alone, you probably have a lot to talk about."

"(name), I-" Jean starts but you interrupt him.

"Jean, don't you dare say that you actually like me. You told me yourself that you never lie, so I know you love Mikasa."

Jean just stayed silent. Knowing that you are right.

"I just don't what to say about all that's happened, I had no idea of your feelings. I guess I wasn't being a good friend. You just lost your brother, I should have helped you cope more. (name), I am so, so sorry about everything. I hurt you so much and I had no idea about how you felt."

"I'm really sorry I lashed out at you Jean, you didn't know, I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. I embarrassed you didn't I? And I know how much you hate being called 'horseface' but I called you that anyway, and I-" Jean interrupted you.

"You did nothing wrong, (name). I deserved everything that you did to me. I feel awful for not noticing earlier. But... you are right. I don't lie, and I do have a crush on Mikasa. But, I always did love you, (name). But I refused to believe I love you because I don't wanna become really close to you and then lose you just like with Marco. I thought if I loved someone like Mikasa, who was number one in the class, than there would be not much of a chance of getting hurt losing you. At this point, I don't even know if I'll live that long. Now I can't help but think of what will happen to you if I die. Or... the other way around." he spoke in a really soft voice.

"Eren likes you, doesn't he?" he suddenly asked before you could say anything.

Changed to 1st person narrative

"D-did you hear what Mikasa said?" I asked.

"Yeah. But, I'm not mad. Honestly right now, I think Eren would be better for you than me." he said.

"No." was all I said.

He looked shocked. He turned to me with wide eyes.

I turned to him and started to lean towards him. I closed my eyes and planted a kiss on his warm lips.

I knew he was shocked by my sudden action. He was very tense, but I didn't care. If this wasn't meant to be, then just give me this moment. All I want is this one moment with Jean. Please, can you just give me that?

Jean eventually melted into the kiss.

This was all I ever wanted. Just Jean and me, alone like this. It was bliss.

We pulled apart for air.

"(name)..." he started.

"I'm sorry, I was afraid I would never get the chance to do that. So I thought, 'You know, why not?'" I said.

"(name), I am so sorry for everything." he said pulling me into a hug. "Please, I know you wouldn't want to be with me after all I did. But, can you please, give me a chance."

"What about Mikasa?" I asked.

"Even if I did have a crush on her, I love you."

I couldn't help but smile.

He pulled me into another kiss that lasted just a little bit longer than the last one.

But we spent all the time we had until dinner in our special spot.

time skip to the night you've been waiting for

"Okay, Jean. I can't do this. I'm to scared, I'm calling this off."

"What are you talking about, (name)? You've been practicing so hard for this." he encouraged me.

"I know, but what if I mess up?" I asked.

He pulled me into a kiss, sadly it was a quick one.

"You won't mess up. I promise" he said.

"O-okay." was all I said as I started to walk on the stage.

Jean was a natural leader, he would never tell me to go up there if he thought I wasn't ready. Or would he? No time to think now though, I was already on stage and the music began to play.

Jean's POV because I honestly don't know much about dancing.

(name) looked so amazing on stage. She was twirling as if she was dancing on air. She looked so happy up there. I now understand why Marco wanted her to dance again. I was so happy I could convince her to dance for one last time.

She had a look of fear when she fought Titans, but now, she looked different. So free. So happy.

'I promise, Marco. I'll keep (name) safe. As long as she's with me, I'll be sure to die before her. I don't want to lose her.' I said to Marco.

(name) finally finished her dance. She was panting as she took her bow, but she looked so happy.

She gave me a smile and I returned it back to her.

'Mikasa, I'm sorry for the way I treated you and (name). I hope you forgive me.' I thought. Not having the guts to tell her in person.

Mikasa actually looked in my direction and gave me a smile.

I'm glad things aren't weird between us.

I know she's really protective of her friends, so I was relieved she wasn't out to kill me now.

(name) then ran to me.

I gave her a big hug.

"What did you think, Jean?" she asked with a big smile on her face.

"You were amazing, (name)! I can tell everyone really enjoyed your performance." I said.

We spent the whole night together except for the occasional person to say how well (name) was on stage.

This night is what started our life together.

timeskip

"Jean, get him before he get's too far!" called (name) giggling.

"Our son runs fast, (name)! It's hard to keep up with him!" I yelled to her. Laughing about as much as her.

We defeated the Titans, and we've been living outside the walls ever since. We got married and had a kid together. His name is Marco.

I kept my promise to Marco. I kept (name) alive and I'm never going to let her go.

The End


End file.
